I am depressed, help?

Im in my teens, i have no friends as most of the ones i did have i pushed away after feeling as though i didn't fit in and came to the realization i did not enjoy their company. I hate school, it takes me great effort to make it through the day, every time i attempt to talk to people i criticize myself for feeble attempts of making conversation. I have recently become extremely ytical, i do not like my dad, i like his personality even less, i have no motive to this but he bores me and has little conversation in him (lack of personality i feel). I now realize i am just like him, i have no personality no matter how much i try, i enjoy watching films listening to music but i can't remember anything about the films i watch etc. as i have the worst memory in the world. This makes me extremely angry and frustrated as i can't share my opinions of things as i cannot remember anything. I am now very dependant on my mother, although i am often short tempered and mean to her, at the weekends i never see friends anymore i might go for breakfast with my mother but thats the extent of my weekends excitement, i hate this and by the end of almost each day i feel empty and lost, i have no motivation to make attempts at planning things with people as i rarely enjoy it due to being awkward and nervous, (i also believe i have some form of social anxiety) i make pathetic attempts at conversation and have nothing in common with most people. I feel trapped, food is my only escape and also feels like my only friend, i eat allot especially at night when i feel worst, as i know the next morning i have to face school, or just another day that requires too much effort.. i have no push in school anymore i rarely do homework although im somehow managing to p all my subjects. I am stupid, i have average intelligence but at this rate i know i will never make it to university as it will be too much confrontation. All i want to do is sit and have the company of my mum. This isn't normal i have a dependency on her, she is my only friend and i believe it is hurting her seeing me like this but she has a slightly oblivious tendency and hasnt thought that it would help me to see a therapist.. I have very low self esteem, at least i can admit that. I hate everything i do, i have given up the only hobby i did as i repeatedly told myself how bad i was at it, although the honest truth is i was awful, so maybe that was merely realization. I believe i am very ugly, people have told me i have a pretty face but i don't believe that.., i wake up, brush my hair and tie it up, i never wear make up, i feel it is artificial and people would be too off put if they see me without it, I never look in the mirror as i will just criticize i am skinny (despite the fact i eat alot) i have a good metabolism, ...and i suppose most of the eating i do is healthy food, i love fruit.. veg,.. fish. I don't know what im doing posting this question here but i feel i need help, i feel trapped, i cant continue life like this. I dont want replies telling me to make an attempt at socializing, or seeing people because i know people won't like me, im strange and nonconforming i have weird habits and no conversation, i feel nervous and am rarely myself around other people lately. I would more appreciate answers telling me if going to someone about this might help. And whether the relationship with my mother is bad for me, i feel so attached to her, i miss her when shes not here, i feel even more depressed, even if she is gone for just a few hours, i'm not young enough to justify this either.. i am sixteen. I should be out with my friends having a great life instead im in the house with my mum watching antiques roadshow, its not that i dont enjoy this but it's embarring also very moody lately, i want her company but that doesn't stop me being short tempered and angry at her, i feel jealous of her in a sick way, i have to live with the genes of my dad for the rest of my life, and in a pathetic way i wish had her traits. I am so similar to my dad it kills me, if i see im lying in the same position he might do i will immediately change, anything i feel i do similar to him and hit myself for it, the horrible thing is my dad is not a bad person to me he is kind to me, i dont know if this dislike towards him comes from the way he treats my mum, he often argues and holds grudges, but then i realize am the same i hold grudges for no reason and i cant help it, its just the way my mind functions and i know this will never change which is why i hate myself so much, I wish i could wake up and live in someone elses shoes for the rest of my life, i hate that i am a boring, unimaginative individual. Everyday is a horrible painful effort and when i do enjoy myself even slightly i feel angry and embarred at my reality, i am worried people and school find out i have no life whatsoever