Abandonment issues...not addressed?

What I would strongly suggest is, if possible, counseling together where a licensed professional can facilitate both of you getting your needs met in a way which is "safe" for you and your mother. If mom is not willing, then please get it for yourself to help you deal with your own needs. In a way, you too are feeling the same abandonment due to mom's self destructive nature and possibly not being there for you. It seems you may have umed the role of adult a little too early and not by choice. Please seek help for yourself and in understanding you it will help you in understanding mom. I wish you all the best.